The Furniture Moat


Ever since I was a little kid, I've created barriers around myself. The thing is, I never did it on purpose. I would simply move the coffee table closer to me, you know...so I could reach my juice box. Then I would pull the ottoman closer to put my gummi bears and favorite cabbage patch doll. Before I knew it, I had created a moat of furniture around myself. Now for a moment, every thing was perfect, I could reach all of the things I needed. But eventually I would have to go to the bathroom…or answer the phone. Then started the process of trying to escape my literal comfort zone. A coffee table is never as heavy as it is when you are trying to push it out of the way to get to the phone when its ringing (and you think it's your mom, making sure you are home from school).

Lately, I've been thinking about my furniture moat a lot. Especially since, I see so many people, so deeply committed to this idea of building emotional barriers around themselves similar to the physical one's I built when I was 10. Not a day goes by that I don’t see a social media post about cutting people off, or keeping one’s circle small. Its constant. Now, as a spiritual coach, I know that people very rarely say things like that unless they feel one of two emotions…hurt or threatened. You see, we only feel like we need to protect ourselves against things that we think have the power to hurt us (or that already have). Think about that. So when we build emotional barriers around ourselves by way of creating a homogeneous group of friends, or by cutting off anyone who challenges us, it's more about fear than it is about progress. Internally we fear being rejected, hurt, or threatened by the anonymous other. So we convince ourselves that we have no interest in certain people or that we are too good (or too bad) for them. The thing is though what you do, think, and feel about others is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself. So when you actively reject other people...you literally set yourself up to be rejected. Plus, the more you believe that you have an enemy...the more the universe will conspire to show you one. The universe is all about energy. So it is your energy that creates your "tribe," so as long as your are actively putting out good energy, there really isn't a need to build a barrier around yourself.

Moreover, here’s the thing about barriers…they ALWAYS serve two purposes:

1. To keep danger out.

2. ANNNNND to keep YOU in.

Which is fine…until you want to get out. Until your mind wants to explore. Until your heart wants to expand. Until your spirit wants to soar. Or until the proverbial phone rings with an opportunity that you can’t take-- because you are too trapped in your mental or emotional barricade.

At its core, an emotional barricade is a living judgement, and it limits you and everything you do.

Today, tear down your wall... Come out and let the good in.

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